Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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