god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
