I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just saw a hot homeless man
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
