So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm like, not good at living.
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