physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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