another moral hangover. fuck.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
