..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
