O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize