i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
