I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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