He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
