I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
