There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
