hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
