im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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