I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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