Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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