1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
