If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
