eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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