Your tits are I can't wait for
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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