oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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