Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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