I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
