There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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