That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
