Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
