Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
