If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
