dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
