i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
