she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
