I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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