I think i peed on brittanys purse
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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