Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize
