i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
