Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
