i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
