Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
