we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
please come you make the beer taste better
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
