Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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