And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
