he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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