Your mouth is God's brothel.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
