Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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