question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
