apparently the secret to your success is patron
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
