Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
