Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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