the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you would pick up someone in the library
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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