just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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