Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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