Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
