so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
